23 5 / 2012
Like a ton of bricks.
When you breathe in deep and life hits you.
When your sitting by yourself and you finally realize.
When you realize life hit you.
It’s happening. This is my life. Here’s where I am. This is where I’m going. That’s where I’ll be.
“That’s where I’ll be”… what a bizarre sentence… what a bizarre sound… what an even more bizarre reality.
I don’t know what to do with myself. This is happening and I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know. I don’t know. What a bizarre reality… . I don’t know.
09 5 / 2012
When I see something like this, I stand in awe. I’m wonder-struck and amazed at the simplicity woven into every inch. As I stand in the presence of a structure so immense, once filled with so much life that’s has been left to retreat to its original state, I realize something. No matter what man may do or build or make or create nature will always take back what is rightfully its. At one point this must have been a glorious, pristine, perfectly angled and sturdy structure that ruled over the land it stood on, but what is it now? Now, it’s a piece of art. It’s beautiful. Nature has taken it back and is using it in a new way. Every inch of paint peeling away to tell a story, every open floorboard uncovering what’s been hidden for years, every broken window allows the light to shine in a new way. Now, it’s filled with life. The kind of life that’s raw and emotional and beautiful. In this simple moment I realize, although it may not be what we imagine. It may not be aesthetically divine or structured to perfection, in fact, it just may be unstable and crooked and breaking, but I realize it will always be beautiful. By letting go, giving over and giving in we allow life to happen and that will never cease to be a beautiful thing.
18 3 / 2012
change (or the lack there of)…
The best motivation is found in you.
I hate that.
You shouldn’t be my reason for change, I should be my reason for change, but for some reason that’s just never been enough for me.
I’ve never been enough for me.
That’s the bottom line.
And now that I’ve realized this that’s my reason for change.
I’m changing for me so I don’t feel like I have to change for you.
Now try and change that.
I dare you.
20 1 / 2012
Standing Strong and Not Building on the Sand
I’m a firm believer in opening doors
I’m a firm believer in paying the bill
I’m a firm believer in loving your mom
I’m a firm believer in going to church
I’m a firm believer in pursuing a girl
I’m a firm believer in staying pure
I’m a firm believer in giving to others
But that means nothing unless you
are a firm believer in Christ.
18 1 / 2012
It’s hard to believe this will all be mine;
the ocean, the air, the streets, the sunshine.
Someday soon I’ll call this my home;
the place where I grew, the place I met you, the place where we came to make it on our own.
Not far into the undiscovered days that come my way will this be the place I finally came to stay.
Here is where I’ll be when this journey is through, when these years come to a close and I become closer to you,
Look for me in the town that holds the sky and ocean blue.
That’s where you’ll find me.
There I’ll wait for you.
18 1 / 2012
Draw Me Near, Dear.
The place that holds the ocean blue,
that’s where I will wait for you.
The moon, the stars, the sun they shine;
reminding me that I am yours just as much as you are mine,
As the ocean swells to meet the sand
Your love comes over me and takes my hand
Like a lighthouse on the rocky bay
You lead me through my darkest days.
The warmth of light comes through again.
I feel your arms wrap around my tender skin
You’re here with me and won’t let go
In this moment, this is how I know.
Like the water reaches for the sand hear my prayers and feel me reaching for your hand.
06 1 / 2012
You and I
You started to tell me I was wrong and I started to shut down.
You told me to go ahead and I said there’s no point.
You told me you wanted to see it how I saw it and I started again.
You started to tell me your perspective and I said I could see it your way too.
You understood me and I understood you.
You said one last thing and then something happened. and I still don’t know how we got where we did.
You started to tell me things you’d never told anyone else and I told you my biggest fear.
You knew what I was saying even before I could finish my sentence and I swallowed my tears.
You promised me and I promised you.
These are the days I realize I don’t love you, but I don’t feel the same about anyone else. Let’s say it simply.
You are different to me and I am different to you.
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03 1 / 2012
Deny the Goodbye
I know soon enough you’ll be going away, but until that day I will deny deny deny that I’ll ever have to say goodbye.
22 12 / 2011
Well this sure has taken a turn for the worst…
just when I think the butterflies are gone, the caterpillars break out of their cocoons and suddenly once again I’m wrapped up in you.
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11 12 / 2011
Choose Wisely
Tumblr: for the thoughts I want people to see, just not anyone I actually know
Twitter: for tricking people into thinking I’m funny and witty all the time
Facebook: for posting photos and updates about my life for stalking people I don’t know
Instagram: for posting photos that make me look artsy and indie
Polyvore: for pretending I’m Rachel Zoe and create collages for Glamour
Flickr: for the photos that are actually artistic and indie
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